First off, I worked out yesterday but didn't get a chance to post because I was busy all day.
Second off: I GAINED ANOTHER POUND.
I KNOW. I WAS ASTONISHED, TOO.
There's not even any excuses; I didn't eat or drink anything before working out, nothing like that. I just got up and went to the club and got on the scale and there it was, 253, all glaring at me and sneering.
Numbers can sneer, did you know that?
Look at it:
Doesn't it look like a sneer?
I haven't so far been terribly concerned about what I've been eating -- I'm not counting calories or even particularly watching what I eat, but even without paying much attention I've gotten the idea that I'm eating healthier, although maybe I'm just fooling myself and blocking out the memories of eating, say, a five-pound bag of Butterfingers.
I have several theories about what is actually going on here, the first being Higgs Bosons. I make a lot of jokes about Higgs Bosons, because nothing is funnier than a subatomic particle that may or may not exist (I know, right?) and if they do exist then the Higgs Bosons are probably doing to me what they do to other stuff, which is to add mass, so the lesson is Don't Make The Bosons Mad which OH MAN that's going to be my autobiography title.
The other theories are:
1. I am putting on muscle. That is Sweetie's theory, given to me again today, to which I responded "Yeah, belly muscle," and it's a valid theory except that my goal is not to be a 300-pound muscle guy, it's to be a 190-pound skinny guy.
2. I have only just begun to fight, as sea captain John Paul Jones did not say (I just looked it up) but he should have. What he said is "I have not yet begun to fight" when asked to surrender, and I like that feeling, so I have only just begun to fight, fat cells.
Here is what I mean: I've been working out 30 days now, but I've only just begun to regularly get over 20 minutes. My swims have been over 20 minutes only three times out of the last four. My runs just began being consistently 20 minutes of running -- the first couple were about 15 minutes of running with a walk up the hill. And biking? Biking is easy.
So while I've gotten healthier, for sure -- my shirts are already fitting better, and I think I can see my face, my real face, a little, by which I mean: my face has over the past few years gotten rounder and I have a hugenormous chin that I hate, when I look in the mirror the last few days I can see my face, looking a little slimmer: I think the fat is starting to leave, a little, and I can see the face I want hiding behind there -- I haven't really started to burn many calories yet, because my workouts aren't hard enough.
That's the theory, anyway, so I'm going to stick with this, but I'm going to add to it.
I'm going to do a pants-check, once a week, using a pair of old pants I've kept around for just that purpose, because they're too tight but I wanted to be able to wear them again.
I will do the pants-check on the same day I weigh in, from here on out.
Today's workout: Swimming, 30 laps, 22:00.
Latest weight. 253. (I'll wipe that sneer off your face, 253)
Today's song that isn't quite about me but I'll close with it:
Fat-Bottomed Girls, Queen.
Update: Apparently, I threw out those pants.