(Mourning Gnus, 5/19/09)

I actually had to work a little this morning -- but if they can have "Showbiz Tonight" on at 11 a.m., why can't you get your Mourning Gnus in the AfterGnu-n?I'll get around to ruling you tomorrow: I like to watch the trends, and the latest trend in governing is to do it later. We are a Procrasti-Nation, apparently: Wisconsin this week enacted a ban on smoking in the workplace; it takes effect in July, 2010. Over in D.C., ObamAmerica has cleaned up fuel economy standards -- beginning in 2012. Or 2016. Whenever they get around to it.

Before you accuse me of being too critical, keep in mind that Obama's fuel efficiency law follows up on a 2007 statute that required a 40% fuel efficiency increase in cars -- by 2020. That law was never actually enforced, though I'm sure this one will be.

I have the EXACT same problem: Jessica Biel has bravely shone a spotlight on one of the most difficult problems facing people like her, and me: being too hot. "It really is a problem," Jessica said in an interview, and complained that her hott-itude is keeping her from getting good jobs. The other problem Jessica faces in her day-to-day life? Picking out a body double that she likes. And you thought your job was rough. How'd you like to start your week having to look at a bunch of naked woman who are nearly, but not quite, identical to Jessica Biel?




Crackpot Website of the Day: I always say I don't listen to commercials, but when Glenn Beck is the only station that comes in clearly, it's more fun to tune him out and pay attention to the commercials, like the one I heard for Survival Seeds. The commercial says -- seriously-- that some group of people are stockpiling at the North Pole (or something like that) and suggests that seeds can be an investment opportunity. They even have a website, where you can buy the seeds to protect yourself from such horrors as "a belligerent lower class demanding handouts." If there's one thing the belligerent lower classes are afraid of, it's the Cylindra Beet.

I'm not going to link to the site, because if you're actually interested in that stuff, you're probably also going to letter-bomb me.

Clarification from yesterday: I made a reference to Trekkies and Spam and then promptly forgot -- in the space of a paragraph -- that I'd done that.

What I'd meant to do is explain where we get the term spam for email from, but I didn't, then, so I will now: It comes from an old Monty Python skit in which Vikings would chant Spam! Spam! Spam! and drown people out as they talked; that skit got co-opted by Internet nerds in the way olden days (pre-2002) who would either type spam over and over, or upload a picture from the skit, in order to slow down or jam up message boards. So over time, spam came to mean anything that slowed down or clogged up the Internet.

People talking on message boards, referencing Monty Python skits? Could anything be cooler than that?

Google Waffle Update: Contrary to what my family says, I am funny -- and I've got actual proof, in the way of an actual website, called "Actual Humor," which picked up my post on Google Waffles and reprinted it here. (They also picked up the 5/18/09 Mourning Gnus, so, GO ME! and GO! Actual Humor!)