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Friday, February 17, 2006

I Rule

If the essay you're looking for isn't here, it probably appears in one of my books; look here for one you'd like!

Posted by Briane P at 2:36 AM

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What is 'the After'?

It's what happens AFTER we die, and it's also the title of my newest book. Saoirse's life didn't begin until it ended in a plane crash, landing her in 'the After', where she must decide whether she wants to come back. Click the picture to learn more.

"Santa, Godzilla, and Jesus Walk Into A Bar," a/k/a The Greatest Xmas Story Ever Told.

My first ever annual Xmas story -- and it just happens to be the greatest one ever told. Click the picture to go to Part One!

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Soon, I'll go back and review OTHER riddles from when I was a kid to figure THEM out. (Quote of the Day 58)
Super Bowl Week: 7 Days Of Hype About 11 Minutes Of Action, And It All Begins With My Motivational Speech For You. (Nonsportsmanlike Conduct!)
But can you get a metal Jets thong? Analyzing the NFL Playoffs the NC! Way, Day 1. (A Special Weekday Nonsportsmanlike Conduct!)
As you'd expect, more bikini talk, and even some sports, plus how to make billions! (Analyzing the Playoffs, Day 4)(Nonsportsmanlike Conduct!)

What's this all about?

"Thinking The Lions" is about life, only funnier, Specifically my life. I have a lot of ongoing features here. You'll find them collected up at these spots: Click the link to go to the page to see the posts under that category...

250=1

How To Think The Lions (Essays About Stuff...)

Life With Unicorns

A Photo Essay

Sweetie's Hunks Of The Week/Hunks of the Moment!

Ninety-Four: An Ongoing Memoir of My Year In D.C. And Morocco

Quotes of the Day

Friday's Sunday's Poems: The Complete List

From The Cheesecake Truck To The End Of The Line: My Honeymoon, and the Songs We Played.

Jobs vs. Life: Explaining my life through the jobs that I've done.

The Questions of The Day

Cool Things I Never Learned In School

This Is Why I Hate People

I Get Paid For Doing This

Taking Stock

Worth a Thousand Words

The Greatest Thing In The World, EVER!

Autism Works: Special-Needs-Friendly Places and People

Publicus Proventus!

A political blog that's long on intelligence and humor, and short on "caring about what you think." Click the picture to go see what's up!

My New Book

The Scariest Things, You CAN'T Imagine, a collection of macabre horror stories you'll never forget. A shape-shifting demon torments children while their parents stand by. A widower haunted by the ghost of his wife tries to understand her requests. A baby stolen from his mother by gargoyles returns, full of hatred for the life he's led. A family of children raised by grave-robbing corpse stealers tries to discover a way out. An elderly man possesses the power of life and death in his retirement. These stories present images and people who will haunt your thoughts for a long time after you read them. See a preview below, and click here to buy it on Lulu.com. Look for it on your Kindle for $0.99!

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Just Exactly How Life Looks

A new collection of literary short stories available at Lulu.com and on your Kindle. Click the picture to go buy this book, and you'll meet cowboys and scientists and terrorists and lonely old men and other people living remarkable lives.

Help The Shaw Twins

Mateo and McHale Shaw were born conjoined twins and have had over 20 surgeries in their first years of life. Their medical bills are staggering. The family is accepting donations to help with the boys’ medical expenses. You can send donations to The Mateo and McHale Shaw Irrevocable Special-Needs Trust, in care of the Kohler Credit Union, 850 Woodlake Road, Kohler, Wis. 53044. Please give what you can.

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Eclipse

The first novella from Briane Pagel: Claudius wanted to be the first man to reach the stars. And maybe he was, but he had blood on his hands when he got there. Buy this haunting psychological horror story at Lulu.com for as little as $1.25. Click the picture to go there.

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Buy my book!

Did she really say I would be likely to get a crocodile to babysit the kids? " Thinking The Lions and 117* Other Ways To Look At Life (Give Or Take) is for sale... all the great essays that no longer appear on this website. The funny (My Christmas Tree Rules!), the timeless ("I Even Have Some Warning Labels Left Over") and the earth-shatteringly tremendous (Velociraptors, My Butt!) are all here. Relive old times with me, The Boy, Older and Middle, Mr F and Mr Bunches, and, of course, the ever-patient Sweetie! All true, all real... and all funny. Click here to buy the book!

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Do Pizza Samples Really Exist?

Find out in the first book from "The Best Of Everything!" Essays on pop culture that explore the title question, plus discuss whether Paris Hilton's fame demonstrates that the laws of thermodynamics are wrong, asks whether movie monsters have to have saber teeth, examines the impact of Jennifer Aniston's hair, and counts down the seven best showdowns between good and evil! Click the picture to go to the site where you can buy this book.

Io17

Brand new sci-fi serial: dark things are afoot in the future Earth ruled by never-seen alien overlords...

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